A man, Onyango Otieno, has opened up about growing up in a dysfunctional home, expressing envy towards children whose parents chose to leave abusive marriage instead of trying to save it at all costs.
Otieno said the biggest casualties of abusive marriage are the children, recalling never seeing his parents happy while growing up, leaving him with no concept of what if feels like to laugh over the phone with a father or mother.
According to him, the Christian teaching about God hating divorce makes no sense to him because that implies that God is a sadistic psychopath who loves seeing children suffer in dysfunctional homes.
He noted that so many men battle depression and are trapped in unhappy marriages because of what the society will say.
Similarly, he observed that many women endure unhappy marriages because they are afraid of losing that title “wife.”
“I envy children whose parents left an abusive marriage instead of trying to make it work at all costs,” he wrote in a Facebook post on Monday, October 19.
“Even with the Christian teaching about God hating divorce, it’ll never make sense to me why many religious leaders advise partners (especially women) to stay in abusive unions to make God happy.
“God must be a sadistic psychopath who loves pain if that’s the case. He loves seeing children suffering in dysfunctional homes because apparently marriage is so important it must be protected by whatever means even when people are dying in it.
“There are so many men afraid of leaving their marriages. They’re struggling with depression but do not have the courage to show it or tell anyone. They’re tired. But what will society say? What happens to their dream of a big happy family?
“There are so many women afraid of losing that title “wife” just because their aspirations of having a family must work in their heads even if they are unhappy.
“In all this, the biggest casualties are the children who never have a say in what the adults decide.
“How I wish I’d have experienced happy parents. I don’t know what that is like. I wonder how I was supposed to create a happy life if my parents have been stressed all my existence. Who was supposed to teach me taking care of myself if the parents I was given did not know how to care for each other?
“I envy anyone who says they can call their father or mother and laugh on the phone. Their parents call to check up on them just because they love them. Not asking for money or solving some family dispute. Just to laugh and ask how their day was.
“That has never happened to me. Greetings have always been followed by an issue. They were a prerequisite to something else and not the main thing.
“I have accepted I may never get to experience that care. And it’s not my fault. So I make joy where I am loved. It’s the only thing I have left.”
